The Quotable Class of 2005

Translation: I lost the quote sheet.

Oh well... most of the really funny things that have been said, I just memorized... so it's all good. Pretty much all the funny quotes from this past school year made it into the two 100-quote batches... but there were a few random things that snuck into the last couple weeks of school.

As for the rest... graduation night, some poker games, and a select few pieces of commentary on Game 7 of the NBA Finals. All in all, a good bunch of memories.

I apologize in advance for all the homophobic remarks I'm about to publish. But look at the bright side: there's nothing about Taylor's crotch this time.

1. "I have four brains." -Ben
(Honorable mention to Nick Fishbane for the response of "Like cows! Wait... no, that's four stomachs, never mind.")

2. "Keep in mind that you should not want to peak at age eighteen." -Mr. Deane
"What... like sexually?" -Alex

3. "Guthrie! I am NOT going to draw you naked!" -Me

4. "This is the greatest moment of my life." -Ben, while watching Star Wars

5. "I have the patent on 'motherfucker.'" -Guthrie

6. "Brooks and Dunn are doing the national anthem? Oh... because it's in Austin." -Taylor, on a SAN ANTONIO Spurs game

7. "I would totally beat Robert Horry in a fight." -Taylor
"You'd bite him in the sack, wouldn't you?" -Max
"NO, I would NOT bite him in the SACK!" -Taylor
"Then you don't have the heart to beat Robert Horry in a fight." -Max

8. "Oh well, Democrats... maybe a sewing contest..." -Taylor, as the Republicans beat the Democrats in the all-Senate baseball game

9. "Tim Duncan's secret weapon? His blatant homosexuality. Tim Duncan, Tom Brady, and Ben... now there is a recipe for success." -Taylor

10. "I am going to kick you right in the... gay!" -Taylor, to Ben

11. "I need to play poker 24/7. Because... I don't, and then I get bored." -Ben

12. "Where do cows go on dates? To the MOOvies." -John Anderson, reading a joke off of a popsicle stick
"Where does Ben go on a date? To a gay bar." -Taylor, reading his (or so he claims)

13. "He calls me fat and I call him gay. Only it's "phat" with a P-H, and "gay" with a... G-A-Y." -Taylor, on Ben

14. "These cards are repulsive." -Taylor, folding a poker hand
"You're repulsive." -Me
"Your mom didn't think so... (dramatic pause)... last night... (dramatic pause)... during our hot, steaming... (dramatic pause)... game of Connect Four. (dramatic pause) Strip Connect Four." -Taylor

15. "Whenever Ben says "you like fat chicks," I can always just say "hey, Ben... you like DUDES." -Taylor

Edit (7/28/05) - Mad props to Cort for helping me remember the one I couldn't figure out in my memory last night... enjoy your bonus quotage...

16. "We should be allowed to wear hats." -Joel
"Hats aren't allowed because you can hide a gun under it." -Cort
"By that logic we shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes." -Joel
"YES NUDIST SCHOOL!" -Cort

That's all for now. I'm too tired to remember the rest, but hopefully these will tide you over for a little while, so you can stop complaining about the lack of quotes.